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May 9, 2007
REMAINING CHEERFUL
Okay, I've just about recovered now.
Recovered, from the stark reality that my favourite football team, Charlton Athletic, will no longer be playing Premiership football next year.
It's a painful and bitter pill to swallow - after seven-years in the top flight the mighty Addicks now face the tough task of trying to bounce straight back next year. It'll certainly be tough.
Anyway, when I need cheering up I usually go to one of my favourite comedians - this time I turned to comic genius Tommy Cooper.
Here's a few one liners to raise a chuckle:
Went to the paper shop - it had blown away
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
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Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
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'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'
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A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'
The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'
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A man walked into the doctor's, he said ' I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'
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I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners
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'So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said, 'You are.'
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'So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ' Is that the local swimming baths?' He said ' It depends where you're calling from.'
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'I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind' ,
so he gave me a kite.'
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for ' flu.
So I went, and I got it.'
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I was in the attic the other day with the wife. Damp and dusty.........but she's great with the kids!
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'So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Posted by sazam at May 9, 2007 12:23 PM
Comments...
Is your fridge running?????
Well if it is then you had better go and catch it then!!!
Ha ha
Monkey monkey monkey!
Comment posted by: The Monkey at May 9, 2007 2:25 PM
Love the one about the battery acid kid!
Lol.
Comment posted by: Karen Mobey at May 12, 2007 5:11 PM
Shuz. I didn't know you were a Charlton fan. I would like to extend my deepest sympathies to you. Loser!
Comment posted by: Ian at May 14, 2007 3:26 PM
If I was editor there would be a blog everyday without fail!!!!!
Monkey for editor - you know it makes sense.
Comment posted by: The Monkey at May 15, 2007 5:32 PM
Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! munuswdebns
Comment posted by: wbjgcpixnj at July 3, 2007 2:26 PM
to know that you do not know is the best.
Comment posted by: jennifer at July 27, 2007 8:46 AM